ranjish hi sahi ...

ranjish hi sahi...dil hi dukhane ke aa...

nothing that i love this song...i recite it sometime..i opened this page to write a post this was coming in my mind...

i lost the password of my wordpress blog...cant login there...i have completely lost my rediffblog..which was damn precious to me...i had poured my heart there...

but that's necessity when u loose something; then you start life with the alternatives you have... 

like this post..i wanted to write on wordpress...but i am here...

i no more single girl now...i am a mother...a wife..a daughter in law....these very soft and sweet taglines are more heavier in real....

being a wife.. i realized how my mother has lived all life....

being daughter in law...its nothing more than a social responsibility..

a mother...mix of all the emotions in the world...

somewhere i have lost being a friend...a colleague in the office...a mate in cab...no more shopaholic girl...i am no more aggressive independent girl...

i am home maker..who waits for her husband all the day to him at home...when he is here ...he got lot many responsibilities to be fulfilled.....lot many people to be taken care of...

and when you finally ask him genuinely where was he....he shouts at the top of his voice...keep this attitude to yourself...and plenty of rude comments which you havnt heard when you were a loyal girlfriend...

i missed myself in the pace of life....to be a mother...wife ...and daughter in law....

i miss my papa and reminds his words...i ll always there for me...his words means satisfaction...love and support...a kinda assurance of being there...

though literally he can not be there all my times...i have to fight battle of my own....

Bread jam ... Nooo Traffic Jam

Yeah...delhi NCR janta would agree with the title of the post. We are suffering with the jam mania these days. Three days back with Gurgaon police decided to have trial of the CWG traffic and blocked few path which connects to the office. I reached office at 10.45 am.

Can you imagine that you have been sitting idle and waiting the next car to move a bit so that your car can also move. Almost two hours in jam and ghisa pita sa exuse for being late in the office. "Sir Jam tha" yeah everyone knows that then why dont you leave early from home.

I have tried it also. Its not working. Things are so bad...with the traffic.

Sometime ppl are so unorganised. they would take one hand out of the car ; would cross your car without even checking if someone is there behind them.

And, this traffic police just blocks the traffic and forgets the entire honking of car and long que of traffic who all are waiting for their green signal.

I just feel that the plight of traffic is really pathetic.

Its taking more than four hours these days to reach the destination point.

You feel like to scratching your head, sleep in the car, slap the traffic police wala who makes the thing a big mess.

And, amazing thing is that when you asking the police, they will say " Madam, trial chal raha hai...ap beth jao.."

Is it a joke to handle the situation like this.

Its just some twenty days left for CWG and traffic is like that hell has broken.

Govt must think abt it and make arragements for smooth traffic or dont take the responsibility if cant justify it.

first ride

its first car drive of my life. and its breath taking. its learning. its adventure. its risky. hmm . when you hardly know how to overtake and all of sudden one gal comes on her scooty and u escape by one inch and thank God for rescuing your and her life.
its fun. everytime its the calculcation going on the mind. yeah!!! this much the race , this much indticator. this much should be the distance from another car.
its amzing.

crap

there have been so many times and so many things when i wanted to write but cudnt due to the hectic schdule and lethargic attitude. things have been more complicated in life. and sometime it makes me tough to fight and sometime it just feel that i am too weak to fight.
miss alot this blog world. writng new posts. changing templates.waiting for comments. replying them . having VBM. made loads of frds but now all of them have been busy in life.
hardly see anyone online these days.
yesterday had smal chat with ricky. sometime life becomes so busy and we ppl forget the basic relation life frdship and wonderful feelings like but we have become machines. work like machine. get up early. get ready. leave for office. work like hell and then back to us at dead end of day and start thinking abt next morning.
m just tired living the same routine and same life. seem to have no excitement.

hmmm

after such a long time i am writing on this page. though its always in my mind so many times. but never really took the pain to jot down my thoughts in these words. i liked the picture so pasted here. though i am feeling a bit low but not that these pic is potraying. loads of ppl dropped by on this space. some felt connected. some bored. some frustrated. but whtever. i liked whenever some one shared the toughts. life had been topsy turvy infact more than that. its a ride where in u dont know what turn it gonna when u think u gonna be smooth ride then its turns up to be round and when u think it will be in circles it ends up having plain ride

things are sometime that much strange that u dont know what is bad or worse. and there is option only between bad worse or may be worst. u end up in life choosing some thing bzzare.my job sucks.have few ppl in life with them i loose myself the way i am.

i haved changed a lot . still some time i am the same stupid emotional bloody gal

i hate to feel this. at the end of day its me . m feelng lke holding the sky in my hands. but get nothng.

Fursat

When i made this new blog and name it fursat- i never imagied that i wont have time to even check it; leave writing a post aside.

But sometime i dont miss my blog--as so so much to do in life--blogging has taken set back--also life has been so hectic that hardly check get time to even check my mailbox-

I think i love it - - i have my love in my life--and wonderful family

anyways--seriousally dont know what to write--u knw i even forgot that i used to write poems :P hehe

Ricky se baat hoti rehti hai--i think everyone got busy in life--

chalo bye-- will jot down some thoughts later when i ll really love to write :)

Baki Din In my home

I am not...not ...not at all feeling good about leaving my home--leaving my bed...leaving books which i havnt read for years yet i kept them...my old cards and gifts...that wind chimes..mom ki daant and papa ka dar...brothers se ladayi and remote se chedkhani..

I am feeling like hell...and a storm in my heart stuck..i will have to and have to my papa and mom-- i never really showed my love and care to them but right now i am feeling like to hug them...hug them so tight that no one can apart us..

its painful feeling which is priecing my heart...i knew it will happen but never knew it gonna be so pain ful...

i love u mom--papa and my stupid..loviest brothers --

Please please please dont let me go---i wannna be wid you papa--mom i never cared for you--always fight with you but i really love u mamma...